medyo matagal din akong walang naisusulat dito ah. yung kasing talent ko sa pagsulat nagbakasyon lang sandali. talent daw eh. napapagod na daw sya. saka trip ko lang magluksa at magmuni-muni. pero dahil aabutan na ko ni red uy, sulat na nga uli.
anyway, today is sept 20th. happy anniversary batch 11. akalain mo yun, isang taon na pala kaming naglolokohan ng mga batchmates ko. parang wala nang balak maisakatuparan yung batch party natin ah.
isang taon na mula nang lisanin ko ang isang lugar kung san di na ko masaya sa ginagawa ko at halos kaladkarin ko na lang yung sarili ko pagpasok. araw-araw akong nakasimangot dun at pakiramdam ko namamatay na yung brain cells ko sa araw araw na pagbabalanse ng journal, pagsagot ng telepono, pagprint, pag-file. mga ganun. bukod pa yun sa unfair ang TL ko dun. may pinapaborito. arte ng arte di ko naman kasing ganda. chika lang. anyway, sabi ko nga, at least ang pagkatao ko ay di nabibili ng mumurahing cake gaya nya. pero kung cheesecake, pwede na. o, maniwala.
ilang panahon na rin akong sawa sa trabaho ko sa bangko. ginawa ko na ngang best friend si Lina ng Jobstreet. lahat na ng bangko na-applyan ko bdo, bpi, psbank, anz, metrobank, hsbc kaso may kabagalan sila magproseso. sinubukan ko nga din yung iba pang kumpanya, ibm, sykes, accenture. lahat sila di ako pinansin. well, positive naman yung sykes, pero yung starting dun, mas mababa pa sa starting ko sa bangko. pati nga yung pagtuturo ng english sa mga japs at korean muntik kong patulan kaya lang medyo malayo yung "office" nila at di ako maka-attend ng interview. ayaw magre-sched. eh di wag
yung application ko sa ciq masasabi kong nagkataon lang. financial transcriptionist kasi yung posisyon kaya naiconnect ko na lang na sa bangko ako galing. oo basta may numero, gora na yan.saka may nag-refer kasi sa kin na dati kong officemate na umalis dahil na-insekta na sya sa trabaho sa bangko. kolekta kasi ng kolekta. pinagdasal ko talagang makuha tong trabaho na to or hiniling ko ng bongga or inasam, ganun. eh kasi iba yung mga paniniwala ko sa Diyos, sa religion, so parang di tamang sabihing pinagdasal ko. basta, i just wanted to leave my previous job so badly, as in kapag di ako nakakuha ng bagong trabaho, pagdating ng dec 2010, magreresign ako kahit wala akong lilipatan. dun na lang ako sa bahay, tagalinis, tagaluto, taga-alaga ng aso, tagahatid sa school ng kapatid ko. pahinga kumbaga. pagkakuha ko pa lang kasi ng final grades ko, nagtrabaho na ko agad, so basically di ko naranasan ang buhay tambay after graduation. swerte lang din siguro.
september 20, 2010. yung unang araw ko sa ciq. sabi ko sa sarili ko, ayan new beginning. excited ako sa mga gagawin. ano kayang bago kong matututunan sa trabahong ito? ayun, una kong nakilala si jane. tinanong ko siya, batch 11 ka di ba? tapos nun kwentuhan galore na kami tapos dumating si girlie. si mimi naaalala ko nagcecellphone. 22 kami lahat sa batch eh. sa ngayon, 19 na lang, pero madami pa rin yun ah kasi kami daw yung pinakamadaming editors. orientation yung first day. tapos biglang isang taon na pala ang nakalipas. noong una natatakot pa ko, papasa kaya ako sa basic training? ibang iba kasi to sa dati kong ginagawa. ibang skill set yung kailangan kong idevelop. dito walang journal, walang balancing, walang cut-off na alas dos.
sabi nung mga dati kong katrabaho, mabilis daw ako makapick up dun sa bangko. tipong bored na ko agad sa kadadaldal nila pag nagtetrain kami, ayoko ng paulit-ulit na sinasabi o nilelecture. tsaka di ako masyadong matanong. tipong inaagaw ko na agad sa kanila yung trabahong dinedemo nila sa kin tapos ako na gagawa. may kasamang, "oo gets ko na, tawagin na lang kita pag may problema." dati kaya kong i-backup ang trabaho ng 2 additional na tao bukod sa trabaho ko, madalas kasi sila magkasakit dun eh. ewan ko nga dun sa dating team ko, lagi na lang merong surgery at maternity leave. kaya rin siguro ako napagod at nagsawa. wala nang challenge. pati yung mga australian na dati nakakanose bleed kausap, sila na nagnonose bleed sa kin. charing. tapos yung sweldo dun, hay kakairita. 3 taon ako dun ha. at grabe ang binibigay na increase. kulang pa pambayad ng cellphone bill. at di ganun kamahalan yung plan ko. mas malaki pa nga magload ung ibang taong kilala ko.
eh dito kaya sa bagong trabaho? sa simula, feeling ko lagi akong naiiwan ng mga kasama ko. nung una pakiramdam ko, ang galing naman nila. shonga ko naman ata di ko magets. tipong bottom of the food chain..... teka parang maling analogy. pero basta lagi akong nagtatanong aabot ba ko ng Pasko dito? may trabaho pa kaya ako pagkatapos ng basic training? mga ganung klaseng takot. mga ganung klaseng doubts. sa kabutihang palad, nakapasa naman ako. minsan, motivation ko yang mga ganyang bagay. yung tipong feeling ko di ako magaling kaya mas magiging matyaga ako. siguro nga totoo, i work better under pressure. para akong anglar fish, na kapag tinanggal mo sa ilalim ng dagat, bigla na lang sya sasabog kasi wala yung pressure na kinasanayan niya. nagbunga naman ata yung pagtyatyaga ko. eto nakakaisang taon na ko. may improvement naman.
so far masaya ako. everyday is a challenge. gamit na gamit yung brain cells ko. sige intindihin natin ang mga indiano, brazilian, norwegian, spanish, atbp na nag-uusap ng cancer research, ng bangko, ng publishing, ng electronics. pero pag dumadating yung sweldo, di ako naiimbyerna. At ang pinakamasaya dito, paperless. walang kailangang i-punch, i-fasten, i-envelope, i-label, ikahon at i-offsite. environment-friendly. isa sa mga naging problema ko yan sa bangko. tinatambak ko yung files ko, tapos aayusin ko lang pag month-end. minsan nga every quarter pa eh, pag may audit lang. eh ayun nakakaloka i-organize. hindi isang beses lang akong nawalan ng mga papeles dun.
isa siguro sa mga pinakamagandang nangyari sa kin nung magtrabaho ako sa ciq, natuto akong mag-adjust sa mga pagbabago. mas malayo ang ortigas kesa makati sa bahay namin, kaya ayan natuto ako mag-mrt. claustrophobic pa rin ako, pero kailangan eh, kesa naman malate ako ng bonggang bongga. adjust din sa schedule. first time ko magtrabaho ng graveyard. sa una nakakaloka, katakot kaya umalis ng gabi. pero eto sanay na ko. bumilis din ako maglakad kasi baka mamaya may mga nakasunod na snatcher, holdaper, stalker. wala ni-rhyme ko lang.
isa pa, according to my friends, eh nagmature daw ako. siguro nga totoo. sa dati ko kasing trabaho, pinakabata ako nung magsimula ako. bunso nila ko dun kaya dalas kong magtantrums. pramis as in dabog kung dabog at kapag galit ako, maghapon akong di magsasalita. saka pag di kita gusto, sorry ka. dito mas nakasmile ako. mas masaya kapag wala kang kaaway. yung tipong deadmatology. kung may maarte o mayabang o masama ang ugali, deadma lang lalo na kung wala namang ginagawa sa kin. problemahin ko pa ba sila? para namang matatakpan yung butas ng ozone layer kapag ininis ko yung sarili ko sa kanila. saka mas masaya pag madaming bagong friends di ba. isa na dyan ang nagconvince sa kin buhayin yung blog ko. ikaw talaga yan, red. nakakapressure ka.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
30-day challenge day 10
my hands smell like medicine. i have been playing nurse for the past few days. it's been touch and go for a while. i have cried a lot. i've lost 1 patient but i am not giving up.
i always cry when my pets die. i treat them like family. i call my pets baby even when they are 6 years old and i talk to them like they are children, trying to tell them not to rummage through the neighbor's trash or the eat shoes and slippers we sometimes leave outside.
we have had a lot of pets throughout the years. My brother used to have this mini-zoo at home.He had pigeons, hamsters and turtles, in addition to the usual cats and dogs. Currently, I have 7 dogs and a cat. The cat, Tammy, has been with us since 2005. He's lazy and always sleepy the way cats are. He would go into your room and bother you while you're sleeping. He loves to be scratched. Mimay, our dog given to my sister allegedly named after her (Hershey Mae) has been with us probably for 4 years. One of Mimay's offspring, Milo, is 3 years old. She is one of the first puppies Mimay ever had. She had survived parasites and mange to which all her other siblings have succumbed to. Mimay gave birth to a new batch this year. 5 puppies: Pretty Girl, Pretty Boy, Rambo, Pow and Hammy. My siblings are creative in giving names.
Three months ago, Hammy died. We found him under the car. Apparently, he hasn't been eating. It must be the parasites again. Then the other dogs lost their appetite. This triggered me to bring everyone else to the vet. We don't really bring dogs to the doctor since my mom believe they're askal they can survive anything, and vets are not easy to find. But I told myself, I'm not going to lose anyone else. I have to do something, at least.
I found the vet via the Internet. Even if it requires a car or a jeepney ride, his clinic is the closest one there is. He dewormed the dogs and gave them antibiotics and appetite stimulants. I just recently realized that it's the same one kids are given when they are sick.
They're supposed to take their medicine 3x a day. It wasn't easy since I sometimes miss my meds when I need them. I had to give the meds in the morning when I get home from work then at noon before I go to sleep and lastly before I go to work at night. I think I have been good taking care of them since they eventually recovered. Every morning when I come home from work, they would run to me, lick my hands or tug at my clothes.
Milo gave birth to six puppies in June. They are very fragile and small. One of them died after a few days. After a week, another one followed. My dad said that Milo doesn't have enough milk so I had to teach them to drink milk from a saucer at three weeks or sometimes I give them milk using a syringe. We only had non-fat or evaporated milk at home but they survived. Four of them became happy healthy puppies. One pup, my dad accidentally run over. So we have 3 left.My sister gave them their names, which I remember but can never refer to the correct puppy. They are all of the same color, just like Milo.
I thought everything was going well with them. Then, the rainy days came. I have been hearing my dogs cough for the past few days. I thought it would go away. Then, I told them to stop bathing under the rain. One of Milo's pups stopped eating on Monday and she was feverish. I can tell by touch. I was worried but can't bring them to the vet since my brother's not home to drive us and I have work on Monday night. I researched about dog fever on the net and gave the pup the remedy. Ice cubes it said, put it on your hand and let the dog lick it. I did that. I also read that you can give your dog aspirin but we didn't have any. When I left for work on Monday night, I just told myself not to worry too much. When I went home on Tuesday, the pup's already eating and I thought she's getting better. On Wednesday night, she refused to eat again. I decided it's time to get her to the vet the following day. She died on Thursday. I cried a lot.
I decided to take her siblings to the vet on that same day. I noticed that her brother wasn't eating as well and have lost weight. The vet said they were feverish. They were given shots and meds. Afer three days, the male pup died. I accepted it and said it was better since he was so weak and it made me cry to have him take his medicine. He was eating very little or not at all. He had that look in his eyes as if begging and he was crying as if begging me to stop the pain.
As of today, there is only one of Milo's pups left. I call her eyeliner because she has black lines around her eyes like Kohl. She's fine now, running around and playing. She also never lost her appetite. We're almost done with the meds ,and I am hoping she'll be all right.
It is so heartbreaking to write this but I did it for the pups and for all the pet lovers out there.
Pavino Veterinary Clinic
Dr Jessie A. Pavino, D.V.M.
Dra Irene R. Manalo, D.V.M.
8 Manuela Ave, Dona Manuela Subd,
Pamplona Las Pinas
tel 028462919
cell 09213413234
Clinic Hours
Mon-Sat 8a-6p
Sun and Holidays 8a-4p
i always cry when my pets die. i treat them like family. i call my pets baby even when they are 6 years old and i talk to them like they are children, trying to tell them not to rummage through the neighbor's trash or the eat shoes and slippers we sometimes leave outside.
we have had a lot of pets throughout the years. My brother used to have this mini-zoo at home.He had pigeons, hamsters and turtles, in addition to the usual cats and dogs. Currently, I have 7 dogs and a cat. The cat, Tammy, has been with us since 2005. He's lazy and always sleepy the way cats are. He would go into your room and bother you while you're sleeping. He loves to be scratched. Mimay, our dog given to my sister allegedly named after her (Hershey Mae) has been with us probably for 4 years. One of Mimay's offspring, Milo, is 3 years old. She is one of the first puppies Mimay ever had. She had survived parasites and mange to which all her other siblings have succumbed to. Mimay gave birth to a new batch this year. 5 puppies: Pretty Girl, Pretty Boy, Rambo, Pow and Hammy. My siblings are creative in giving names.
Three months ago, Hammy died. We found him under the car. Apparently, he hasn't been eating. It must be the parasites again. Then the other dogs lost their appetite. This triggered me to bring everyone else to the vet. We don't really bring dogs to the doctor since my mom believe they're askal they can survive anything, and vets are not easy to find. But I told myself, I'm not going to lose anyone else. I have to do something, at least.
I found the vet via the Internet. Even if it requires a car or a jeepney ride, his clinic is the closest one there is. He dewormed the dogs and gave them antibiotics and appetite stimulants. I just recently realized that it's the same one kids are given when they are sick.
They're supposed to take their medicine 3x a day. It wasn't easy since I sometimes miss my meds when I need them. I had to give the meds in the morning when I get home from work then at noon before I go to sleep and lastly before I go to work at night. I think I have been good taking care of them since they eventually recovered. Every morning when I come home from work, they would run to me, lick my hands or tug at my clothes.
Milo gave birth to six puppies in June. They are very fragile and small. One of them died after a few days. After a week, another one followed. My dad said that Milo doesn't have enough milk so I had to teach them to drink milk from a saucer at three weeks or sometimes I give them milk using a syringe. We only had non-fat or evaporated milk at home but they survived. Four of them became happy healthy puppies. One pup, my dad accidentally run over. So we have 3 left.My sister gave them their names, which I remember but can never refer to the correct puppy. They are all of the same color, just like Milo.
I thought everything was going well with them. Then, the rainy days came. I have been hearing my dogs cough for the past few days. I thought it would go away. Then, I told them to stop bathing under the rain. One of Milo's pups stopped eating on Monday and she was feverish. I can tell by touch. I was worried but can't bring them to the vet since my brother's not home to drive us and I have work on Monday night. I researched about dog fever on the net and gave the pup the remedy. Ice cubes it said, put it on your hand and let the dog lick it. I did that. I also read that you can give your dog aspirin but we didn't have any. When I left for work on Monday night, I just told myself not to worry too much. When I went home on Tuesday, the pup's already eating and I thought she's getting better. On Wednesday night, she refused to eat again. I decided it's time to get her to the vet the following day. She died on Thursday. I cried a lot.
I decided to take her siblings to the vet on that same day. I noticed that her brother wasn't eating as well and have lost weight. The vet said they were feverish. They were given shots and meds. Afer three days, the male pup died. I accepted it and said it was better since he was so weak and it made me cry to have him take his medicine. He was eating very little or not at all. He had that look in his eyes as if begging and he was crying as if begging me to stop the pain.
As of today, there is only one of Milo's pups left. I call her eyeliner because she has black lines around her eyes like Kohl. She's fine now, running around and playing. She also never lost her appetite. We're almost done with the meds ,and I am hoping she'll be all right.
It is so heartbreaking to write this but I did it for the pups and for all the pet lovers out there.
Pavino Veterinary Clinic
Dr Jessie A. Pavino, D.V.M.
Dra Irene R. Manalo, D.V.M.
8 Manuela Ave, Dona Manuela Subd,
Pamplona Las Pinas
tel 028462919
cell 09213413234
Clinic Hours
Mon-Sat 8a-6p
Sun and Holidays 8a-4p
Saturday, September 10, 2011
30-day challenge day 9 balik fiction
I first wrote this when I was fifteen and did some revisions during college.
Brown Eyes
I stared at the blank piece of paper in front of me. It’s a page of my diary. I know I should write something in it to lessen my burden, to make me feel better and less guilty. But my mind is so blurred I can hardly remember my name.
What can I write to make me feel better? I could not think clearly. My mind is like a sea at storm. There are waves and more waves. But in the midst of that storm, a face suddenly came to me. I know that face quite well. He is one of the few people who understands and appreciates me. I remember how he would always have a smile ready for me. I could also never forget how his brown eyes would reflect his feelings. They never tell a lie. His eyes looked so different when he laughed or smiled or when he’s angry or when he feels sad. And sometimes when he is seriously concerned about me, I look at him and I get lost in his eyes.
Until a few weeks ago, he was my friend. I don’t actually want to remember how I lost him, I know I just did. Maybe I am just good at driving people away or so it seems.
As I was holding my pen and about to jot down something. I recalled the day he told me about a girl he liked. I felt a sharp pain inside of me and for a moment my heart skipped a beat. I thought I was going to die.
I was caught in disbelief. Did I hear him right? How he could he like this girl? I hate her since…. FOREVER! She’s mean, selfish, materialistic and judgmental. Of all people, why her? Then I looked at him, trying to sense if he was just kidding; he sometimes does that. If only I knew I would later regret it, if only I could turn back time, I should’nt have looked at him that time. Maybe I would not be so miserable right now. I remember how his eyes looked like. They were sparkling the way I have never seen them sparkle before.
I got lost in his eyes. And the world appeared to me as a big blur. I excused myself before teardrops fell from my eyes. I never want him to see me crying. He would only ask too much. Also I don’t want to see the way his eyes would look like when he is concerned about me simply because it would never match the way how that girl made his eyes sparkle.
I slowly drifted away from the person who owned those eyes. I invented reasons so I would’nt have to spend time with him. I leave everytime I see him coming. I did not return his phone calls.
And during the unavoidable times that we are together, I tried my best not to look at him, because I know that if I did I would get lost in his eyes. I wouldn’t want to give myself away. I simply made him believe that I do’nt care about him anymore. But in reality, I really missed him. I want to be with him.
I thought I was doing pretty good at not paying attention to him until today. I saw him under the rain. I worried that he might get sick. I called out to him. He did not say anything. All he did was stare at me.
I was taken aback with what I saw in his eyes. His brown eyes were so sad, as sad like I have never seen them before. They never looked that sad when his parents separated when we were eight not even when his dad died when we were fourteen. I wondered, what has happened?
Suddenly I got lost in his eyes but not in any way like before. I felt like he was a different person. Maybe he was trying to tell me something in a language I used to know but forgot all about.He seemed so strange to me.I felt that I don’t know him anymore and I don’t have any right to call him my friend.
Tears came running down my cheeks. He turned away. I know I would always regret that I did not stop him. Right now, I feel that I have lost him forever.
I stared at the blank piece of paper in front of me. It’s a page of my diary. I know I should write something in it to lessen my burden, to make me feel better and less guilty. But my mind is so blurred I can hardly remember my name.
I can still see his face. His brown eyes that are so expressive. These are the only things that are clear to me now. Until a few weeks ago, he was my friend. It pains me to remember how I lost him. I just want him back.
sept 2006
Brown Eyes
I stared at the blank piece of paper in front of me. It’s a page of my diary. I know I should write something in it to lessen my burden, to make me feel better and less guilty. But my mind is so blurred I can hardly remember my name.
What can I write to make me feel better? I could not think clearly. My mind is like a sea at storm. There are waves and more waves. But in the midst of that storm, a face suddenly came to me. I know that face quite well. He is one of the few people who understands and appreciates me. I remember how he would always have a smile ready for me. I could also never forget how his brown eyes would reflect his feelings. They never tell a lie. His eyes looked so different when he laughed or smiled or when he’s angry or when he feels sad. And sometimes when he is seriously concerned about me, I look at him and I get lost in his eyes.
Until a few weeks ago, he was my friend. I don’t actually want to remember how I lost him, I know I just did. Maybe I am just good at driving people away or so it seems.
As I was holding my pen and about to jot down something. I recalled the day he told me about a girl he liked. I felt a sharp pain inside of me and for a moment my heart skipped a beat. I thought I was going to die.
I was caught in disbelief. Did I hear him right? How he could he like this girl? I hate her since…. FOREVER! She’s mean, selfish, materialistic and judgmental. Of all people, why her? Then I looked at him, trying to sense if he was just kidding; he sometimes does that. If only I knew I would later regret it, if only I could turn back time, I should’nt have looked at him that time. Maybe I would not be so miserable right now. I remember how his eyes looked like. They were sparkling the way I have never seen them sparkle before.
I got lost in his eyes. And the world appeared to me as a big blur. I excused myself before teardrops fell from my eyes. I never want him to see me crying. He would only ask too much. Also I don’t want to see the way his eyes would look like when he is concerned about me simply because it would never match the way how that girl made his eyes sparkle.
I slowly drifted away from the person who owned those eyes. I invented reasons so I would’nt have to spend time with him. I leave everytime I see him coming. I did not return his phone calls.
And during the unavoidable times that we are together, I tried my best not to look at him, because I know that if I did I would get lost in his eyes. I wouldn’t want to give myself away. I simply made him believe that I do’nt care about him anymore. But in reality, I really missed him. I want to be with him.
I thought I was doing pretty good at not paying attention to him until today. I saw him under the rain. I worried that he might get sick. I called out to him. He did not say anything. All he did was stare at me.
I was taken aback with what I saw in his eyes. His brown eyes were so sad, as sad like I have never seen them before. They never looked that sad when his parents separated when we were eight not even when his dad died when we were fourteen. I wondered, what has happened?
Suddenly I got lost in his eyes but not in any way like before. I felt like he was a different person. Maybe he was trying to tell me something in a language I used to know but forgot all about.He seemed so strange to me.I felt that I don’t know him anymore and I don’t have any right to call him my friend.
Tears came running down my cheeks. He turned away. I know I would always regret that I did not stop him. Right now, I feel that I have lost him forever.
I stared at the blank piece of paper in front of me. It’s a page of my diary. I know I should write something in it to lessen my burden, to make me feel better and less guilty. But my mind is so blurred I can hardly remember my name.
I can still see his face. His brown eyes that are so expressive. These are the only things that are clear to me now. Until a few weeks ago, he was my friend. It pains me to remember how I lost him. I just want him back.
sept 2006
30-day challenge day 8
yung insomnia attacks ko stress-related. di kaya yung di ko pagkakatulog ay sanhi ng araw-araw na pressure para magpost? been doing this for one week. ayun 22 days to go. keri naman pala. 22 days pa kong magkakaganito.
minsan sabi sa kin nung kaibigan ko, mukha kang labtim. pakialam ka ng pakialam ng lablayp ng iba kaya wala kang lablayp. well totoo naman lahat ng sinabi nya. mahilig ako makialam ng lablayp ng iba at wala naman talaga akong lablayp. yan nga laging tinatanong sa kin ng lahat ng mga kamag-anak ko pag magkikita kami, may boyfriend ka na? parang concern nilang lahat yung bagay na yun sa palagay ko nga magpapaparty sila sinabi kong meron. nagsasawa na nga ako sa kakasagot ng wala, sila di pa magsawa sa kakatanong. hindi naman sa ayoko, may mga bagay na ganun lang talaga. gets?
pero yang kaibigan ko na yan, nagkamali sya sa cause and effect. sa paniwala ko kasi if love doesn't work for me, at least i can make it work for others. minsan may fairy-god mother syndrome ako eh. imbento ko lang din yun, simply put pakialamera ako.
kasalukuyan akong may project, kasabwat ng isang officemate na tatawagin nating Meow. ang prospects isang ateng masungit at kuyang sobrang tahimik. minsan namin silang sapilitang napasama lumabas. ayun kumain kami dun sa famous tapsilugan sa SC ng UP Diliman. Si Kuya gusto magkite flying, kaso walang malakas na hangin nung araw na yun. Parang pinagpasalamat nga rin nya yun kasi kinakahiya nya yung kite na may drawing na colorful dracula, as in purple, pink, yellow, courtesy of Meow. Inabala nya pa talaga sarili niya para mabili yun.
Pero parang enjoy naman sina ate at kuya sa mga paglalakad-lakad na ginawa namin saka yung pag-iwan namin sa kanilang dalawa dun sa may art gallery para maghanap ng cr. Binabalak nga namin ni Meow na sundan yung date nila. Para kaming mga high school na nakasubaybay sa favorite naming on-screen loveteam.
Magkaka-officemates kami. Nagsimula kasi ang lahat sa party nung April para celebration ng regularization namin sa office. Ayun, may picture na magkatabi sila. Ang cute lang nila and something clicked. Di man ako magaling sa math, favorite subject ko naman yung chemistry, kaya naman na-apply ko yan sa mga ganitong bagay.
Sige kaunting background kay ate at kuya. Itago na lang natin sila sa pangalang... wala ata akong maisip na pangalan. Sige si ate na lang si Barbie, si kuya si Joshua. Walang pakialamanan. Si Barbie ang impression talaga sa kanya masungit, mataray.Kahapon nga parang gusto nyang magpabotox para daw lagi na lang sya nakasmile at wag na syang commentan ng ganun. sa pagkakaunawa ko isa syang late bloomer sa pag-ibig at sa halos lahat ng bagay bagay. Kung gusto nyong malaman yang kwento ng pag-ibig nya, sya na lang tanungin nyo. Baka masabunutan ako kapag sinabi ko dito.
Si Joshua naman, hanga ako dun eh. Ang galing galing at sobrang sipag sa trabaho. Minsan nga gusto ko nang paabangan sa labas yun eh para di na makapasok. Sige sa ibang post na lang yung mga evil schemes ko ha. Magkakatrabaho kami sa panahong ito. Inulit ko lang kung sakaling di mo nabasa yung nasa taas. 1 year na nga kami dito sa office sa september 20, so far wala pang matinong plano para sa anniversary party, pero sa ibang post na lang din yun.
Anyway, minsang nagyaya si Joshua lumabas uli. Gusto nya puntahan yung Salcedo market. Natuwa naman ako at si Meow kasi siya na yung nagyaya, hindi na kami. kaso lang di naman natuloy kasi naglipat bahay sya. This month medyo uso ata yung mga nakaleave. Matagal na nagleave si Barbie, pagbalik naman nya si Joshua ang nakaleave. Ngayon iniiisipan uli namin ng lakad yung dalawa. Sana wag na masyadong magsungit si Barbie, di naman namin sya pinepressure, suggestion lang. Saka sana dumaldal ng kaunti si Joshua, saka pwede ba syang maging assertive minsan para diretso na yung pagyaya niya kay Barbie at di na dadaan sa min.
so papasa na to as one post di ba? i wonder what red is doing. sana nag-eenjoy sya sa bakasyon
minsan sabi sa kin nung kaibigan ko, mukha kang labtim. pakialam ka ng pakialam ng lablayp ng iba kaya wala kang lablayp. well totoo naman lahat ng sinabi nya. mahilig ako makialam ng lablayp ng iba at wala naman talaga akong lablayp. yan nga laging tinatanong sa kin ng lahat ng mga kamag-anak ko pag magkikita kami, may boyfriend ka na? parang concern nilang lahat yung bagay na yun sa palagay ko nga magpapaparty sila sinabi kong meron. nagsasawa na nga ako sa kakasagot ng wala, sila di pa magsawa sa kakatanong. hindi naman sa ayoko, may mga bagay na ganun lang talaga. gets?
pero yang kaibigan ko na yan, nagkamali sya sa cause and effect. sa paniwala ko kasi if love doesn't work for me, at least i can make it work for others. minsan may fairy-god mother syndrome ako eh. imbento ko lang din yun, simply put pakialamera ako.
kasalukuyan akong may project, kasabwat ng isang officemate na tatawagin nating Meow. ang prospects isang ateng masungit at kuyang sobrang tahimik. minsan namin silang sapilitang napasama lumabas. ayun kumain kami dun sa famous tapsilugan sa SC ng UP Diliman. Si Kuya gusto magkite flying, kaso walang malakas na hangin nung araw na yun. Parang pinagpasalamat nga rin nya yun kasi kinakahiya nya yung kite na may drawing na colorful dracula, as in purple, pink, yellow, courtesy of Meow. Inabala nya pa talaga sarili niya para mabili yun.
Pero parang enjoy naman sina ate at kuya sa mga paglalakad-lakad na ginawa namin saka yung pag-iwan namin sa kanilang dalawa dun sa may art gallery para maghanap ng cr. Binabalak nga namin ni Meow na sundan yung date nila. Para kaming mga high school na nakasubaybay sa favorite naming on-screen loveteam.
Magkaka-officemates kami. Nagsimula kasi ang lahat sa party nung April para celebration ng regularization namin sa office. Ayun, may picture na magkatabi sila. Ang cute lang nila and something clicked. Di man ako magaling sa math, favorite subject ko naman yung chemistry, kaya naman na-apply ko yan sa mga ganitong bagay.
Sige kaunting background kay ate at kuya. Itago na lang natin sila sa pangalang... wala ata akong maisip na pangalan. Sige si ate na lang si Barbie, si kuya si Joshua. Walang pakialamanan. Si Barbie ang impression talaga sa kanya masungit, mataray.Kahapon nga parang gusto nyang magpabotox para daw lagi na lang sya nakasmile at wag na syang commentan ng ganun. sa pagkakaunawa ko isa syang late bloomer sa pag-ibig at sa halos lahat ng bagay bagay. Kung gusto nyong malaman yang kwento ng pag-ibig nya, sya na lang tanungin nyo. Baka masabunutan ako kapag sinabi ko dito.
Si Joshua naman, hanga ako dun eh. Ang galing galing at sobrang sipag sa trabaho. Minsan nga gusto ko nang paabangan sa labas yun eh para di na makapasok. Sige sa ibang post na lang yung mga evil schemes ko ha. Magkakatrabaho kami sa panahong ito. Inulit ko lang kung sakaling di mo nabasa yung nasa taas. 1 year na nga kami dito sa office sa september 20, so far wala pang matinong plano para sa anniversary party, pero sa ibang post na lang din yun.
Anyway, minsang nagyaya si Joshua lumabas uli. Gusto nya puntahan yung Salcedo market. Natuwa naman ako at si Meow kasi siya na yung nagyaya, hindi na kami. kaso lang di naman natuloy kasi naglipat bahay sya. This month medyo uso ata yung mga nakaleave. Matagal na nagleave si Barbie, pagbalik naman nya si Joshua ang nakaleave. Ngayon iniiisipan uli namin ng lakad yung dalawa. Sana wag na masyadong magsungit si Barbie, di naman namin sya pinepressure, suggestion lang. Saka sana dumaldal ng kaunti si Joshua, saka pwede ba syang maging assertive minsan para diretso na yung pagyaya niya kay Barbie at di na dadaan sa min.
so papasa na to as one post di ba? i wonder what red is doing. sana nag-eenjoy sya sa bakasyon
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
30-day challenge day 7
i woke up with a headache. it's just on one side of my head. it's as if my neurons suddenly wanted to overwork themselves and have been firing neurotransmitters to my pain receptors all day. ano daw? basta masakit ulo ko kanina paggising ko. yun lang gusto ko sabihin. at medyo masakit pa rin sya ngayon kahit na uminom na ko ng gamot. kulang kasi ako sa tulog. lately, may problema na naman kami ng pagtulog.
nung high school ko nadiskubre na di kami masyadong magkasundo ng pagtulog. may insomnia ako nun eh. paano ko nalaman? wala lang, ni-diagnose ko yung sarili ko. wag na magulo. eventually, nalaman kong may kinalaman sa stress ang di ko pagkakatulog or ang paggising ko ng sobrang maaga (premature waking)
nung college naman, di ko masyadong problema ang pagtulog kasi normal nang di ako matutulog. sa dami ba naman ng readings, reaction paper, reflection paper, research, book review at iba pa na kailangan kong isulat, walang lugar ang pagtulog. normal nang matulog ng alas 12 at gumising ng alas 3 or alas 4.
sa first job, dun ko nalamang sobrang busy ko pala sa undergrad. kasi nung nagtatrabaho na ko, hinahanap ng katawan ko yung bonggang bonggang homework. dahil wala nang homework, madalas nun nakakatulog na ko pagdating ko ng bahay. pero may mga pagkakataon din nagpaparamdam yung insomnia. kaya ayun nakikipagchat na lang ako sa mga classmates ko.
nung lumipat kami ng bahay feeling ko wala akong matinong tulog ever. nilipatan kasi namin yung bahay namin ngayon na di pa gawa yung mga kwarto, kaya nakadividers lang kami. matagal-tagal rin akong ganun. mga halos isang taon. naging okay lang ako nung maayos na yung kwarto ko. well, hindi pa rin sya maayos ngayon. sige yan ang topic ng day 8.
after 3 yrs, lumayas ako sa dati kong office. nang malipat ako sa capital iq, nanibago ako. unang-una mas malayo sya sa bahay tapos yung schedule ko nung una parang ang haba haba ng araw ko sa office. ang pagtulog, normal naman.
nung january, nagsimula akong pumasok ng graveyard shift. nung una, kala ko katapusan na ng buhay ko. nagsimula na kong kaibiganin uli si Lina. araw araw mag-email sa kin yan eh, wala naman akong mapala. anyway, napatunayan ko, na hindi pala ako hirap matulog kahit araw. sa sobrang pagod ko kasi, makakatulog at makakatulog ako.
pero lately, hirap akong matulog. nung saturday nga expected ko mga 12 hrs akong makakatulog kasi buong maghapon akong gumala-gala after ng shift. this week, pagdating ko ng 8 or 9 am sa bahay, nakakaidlip ako sa panonood ng tv, siguro mga 30 mins, tapos alas 2 na ng hapon gising pa ko. palagay ko factor din dito yung kapitbahay naming talagang sa tanghaling tapat magvideoke. pero palagay ko stress rin to eh. kailangan ko lang siguro ng bakasyon. hay, tagal pa yung long weekend ko eh.
nung high school ko nadiskubre na di kami masyadong magkasundo ng pagtulog. may insomnia ako nun eh. paano ko nalaman? wala lang, ni-diagnose ko yung sarili ko. wag na magulo. eventually, nalaman kong may kinalaman sa stress ang di ko pagkakatulog or ang paggising ko ng sobrang maaga (premature waking)
nung college naman, di ko masyadong problema ang pagtulog kasi normal nang di ako matutulog. sa dami ba naman ng readings, reaction paper, reflection paper, research, book review at iba pa na kailangan kong isulat, walang lugar ang pagtulog. normal nang matulog ng alas 12 at gumising ng alas 3 or alas 4.
sa first job, dun ko nalamang sobrang busy ko pala sa undergrad. kasi nung nagtatrabaho na ko, hinahanap ng katawan ko yung bonggang bonggang homework. dahil wala nang homework, madalas nun nakakatulog na ko pagdating ko ng bahay. pero may mga pagkakataon din nagpaparamdam yung insomnia. kaya ayun nakikipagchat na lang ako sa mga classmates ko.
nung lumipat kami ng bahay feeling ko wala akong matinong tulog ever. nilipatan kasi namin yung bahay namin ngayon na di pa gawa yung mga kwarto, kaya nakadividers lang kami. matagal-tagal rin akong ganun. mga halos isang taon. naging okay lang ako nung maayos na yung kwarto ko. well, hindi pa rin sya maayos ngayon. sige yan ang topic ng day 8.
after 3 yrs, lumayas ako sa dati kong office. nang malipat ako sa capital iq, nanibago ako. unang-una mas malayo sya sa bahay tapos yung schedule ko nung una parang ang haba haba ng araw ko sa office. ang pagtulog, normal naman.
nung january, nagsimula akong pumasok ng graveyard shift. nung una, kala ko katapusan na ng buhay ko. nagsimula na kong kaibiganin uli si Lina. araw araw mag-email sa kin yan eh, wala naman akong mapala. anyway, napatunayan ko, na hindi pala ako hirap matulog kahit araw. sa sobrang pagod ko kasi, makakatulog at makakatulog ako.
pero lately, hirap akong matulog. nung saturday nga expected ko mga 12 hrs akong makakatulog kasi buong maghapon akong gumala-gala after ng shift. this week, pagdating ko ng 8 or 9 am sa bahay, nakakaidlip ako sa panonood ng tv, siguro mga 30 mins, tapos alas 2 na ng hapon gising pa ko. palagay ko factor din dito yung kapitbahay naming talagang sa tanghaling tapat magvideoke. pero palagay ko stress rin to eh. kailangan ko lang siguro ng bakasyon. hay, tagal pa yung long weekend ko eh.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
30-day challenge Day 6
Pet peeves. Minsan nakwento sa kin ng kapatid ko, may pinafi-fill out daw na form from the guidance counselor's office. May nakalagay sa form name, address, hobbies tapos sa dulo pet peeves. Sabi daw ng adviser niya sa English nung high school, ang pet peeve ay ang gusto mong alagaang hayop. Eh dahil madali silang maniwala, karamihan sa kanila 12 yrs old, eh di isinulat naman nila aso, pusa, isda piranha, tigre. Pinabalik daw yung forms sa kanila at parang naguidance si ma'am.
Wala lang sinusubukan ko lang magpatawa. True story naman yang nasa taas. Day 6, ayan nalampasan ko na yung expectation ko sa sarili ko. Teka, pat on the back ko lang yung sarili ko for doing a good job. Haha grabe naman ung independence ko no.
Pag tinatanong ako kung ano yung pet peeve ko wala akong maisagot agad. Siguro dahil masyadong madami akong ayaw kaya naman di ko alam kung ano ang uunahin. Maarte ako eh. So medyo nag-isip isip muna ako. Nagtype, binasa ang naitype, tapos binura at nagsimula uli.
Tapos naisip ko one thing that annoys me ay yung isang barkadang ang iingay sa public transportation na parang nabili nila yung jeep, yung bus o yung mrt. Nakakaloka. Minsan may nakasabay akong mga ganyan, sa MRT. Malamang alam ng lahat kung gaano kasiksikan yung MRT di ba. Sabay sabay silang sasakay, mga edad 15-17. Magkakatabi tapos mag-uusap, magtatawanan ng sobrang lakas, maghaharutan nang parang walang ibang tao. May isang ale dun na sumisigaw dahil mapapapagsarhan sya ng pinto, aba yung mga bata nakisigaw din. Kala ata lahat joke. Imbyerna ako sa mga ganun. Sabi ko could you kids keep it down, nakataas kilay ko na nun, kaso di naman ata nila narinig kasi di naman ako sumigaw at ang iingay nga kasi nila .
Isa ko pang kinakainis yung nakikipag-usap sa telepono sa public transportation pa rin. Ayon sa mga nabasa ko, meron naman daw scientific explanation yung ganung klaseng inis. Kasi daw isang side lang ng usapan ang naririnig mo, eh kung natural kang tsismosa, malamang gusto mo din malaman yung sagot ng nasa kabila. Bahala yung ayaw maniwala.
Number three pet peeve ay yung mga kotse lumiliko nang di sumisignal. Basta nakakairita lang. Yung tipong patawid ka, tapos akala mo diretso si kuya yun pala paliko. Talagang namemewang ako sa mga ganung pagkakataon, may kasama pang buntong hininga.
Number four, irita ako sa mga nagyoyosi sa kalsada habang naglalakad. Kung makabuga parang gusto nya lang tanggalan ng karapatan ung ibang tao sa fresh air.
Number five, yung ayaw kang paunahin sa paglalakad, pero ang bagal naman nya. Ung wala kang choice kasi kung di sya tatabi dun ka lang talaga sa likod nya. That only proves kung gaano ako kainipin.
At trivia lang sa pagsusulat ko nitong post na to, nalaman kong merong getannoyed.com at petpeeves.com. Ano kayang ginagawa ng mga moderator nun? Ang daming alam. Kakainis.
Wala lang sinusubukan ko lang magpatawa. True story naman yang nasa taas. Day 6, ayan nalampasan ko na yung expectation ko sa sarili ko. Teka, pat on the back ko lang yung sarili ko for doing a good job. Haha grabe naman ung independence ko no.
Pag tinatanong ako kung ano yung pet peeve ko wala akong maisagot agad. Siguro dahil masyadong madami akong ayaw kaya naman di ko alam kung ano ang uunahin. Maarte ako eh. So medyo nag-isip isip muna ako. Nagtype, binasa ang naitype, tapos binura at nagsimula uli.
Tapos naisip ko one thing that annoys me ay yung isang barkadang ang iingay sa public transportation na parang nabili nila yung jeep, yung bus o yung mrt. Nakakaloka. Minsan may nakasabay akong mga ganyan, sa MRT. Malamang alam ng lahat kung gaano kasiksikan yung MRT di ba. Sabay sabay silang sasakay, mga edad 15-17. Magkakatabi tapos mag-uusap, magtatawanan ng sobrang lakas, maghaharutan nang parang walang ibang tao. May isang ale dun na sumisigaw dahil mapapapagsarhan sya ng pinto, aba yung mga bata nakisigaw din. Kala ata lahat joke. Imbyerna ako sa mga ganun. Sabi ko could you kids keep it down, nakataas kilay ko na nun, kaso di naman ata nila narinig kasi di naman ako sumigaw at ang iingay nga kasi nila .
Isa ko pang kinakainis yung nakikipag-usap sa telepono sa public transportation pa rin. Ayon sa mga nabasa ko, meron naman daw scientific explanation yung ganung klaseng inis. Kasi daw isang side lang ng usapan ang naririnig mo, eh kung natural kang tsismosa, malamang gusto mo din malaman yung sagot ng nasa kabila. Bahala yung ayaw maniwala.
Number three pet peeve ay yung mga kotse lumiliko nang di sumisignal. Basta nakakairita lang. Yung tipong patawid ka, tapos akala mo diretso si kuya yun pala paliko. Talagang namemewang ako sa mga ganung pagkakataon, may kasama pang buntong hininga.
Number four, irita ako sa mga nagyoyosi sa kalsada habang naglalakad. Kung makabuga parang gusto nya lang tanggalan ng karapatan ung ibang tao sa fresh air.
Number five, yung ayaw kang paunahin sa paglalakad, pero ang bagal naman nya. Ung wala kang choice kasi kung di sya tatabi dun ka lang talaga sa likod nya. That only proves kung gaano ako kainipin.
At trivia lang sa pagsusulat ko nitong post na to, nalaman kong merong getannoyed.com at petpeeves.com. Ano kayang ginagawa ng mga moderator nun? Ang daming alam. Kakainis.
Monday, September 5, 2011
30-day challenge day 5
Today is Day 5,and I can't believe I am still doing this. What's up for today? Write about a song that inspires me. Eh di nga ako mahilig sa music di ba? So dahil non-conformist naman ako minsan, I will write about something else today. Kapag trip ko ng music, saka ako magsusulat about a song that inspires me.
Sabi ko nga sa una kong post, my childhood dream is to become a doctor. At ayun nga, di ko nga keri yun kasi sobrang madiriin ako. So malamang di ko kayang kumatay-- sorry, mag-disect ng palaka, pusa at tao. I gave it up around high school ata. After giving up on that dream, kahit minsan di ko na naisip that I would ever have a chance to work at the hospital setting. Nung college, Behavioral Sciences yung course ko. Bakit? Eh kasi before we took the UPCAT, sabi sa 'min write ANY non-quota course, so just you could get into the university, since yung first year daw panay GE naman so di naman masasayang if you are going to shift. I wrote that kasi medyo interesado ako nun sa Psychology, yung mga personality tests. Mababaw lang actually yung pagkakaintindi ko sa course eh. Second choice ko Organizational Communication. Wala lang, may communication kasing nakalagay eh feeling ko nun, madaldal ako ng sobra at gusto kong mahasa yung mga communication skills ko.
Pero gusto ko talaga at that time Accounting. Labo no, sabi ko ayoko na Math, pero enjoy ko kasi yung Accounting subject namin nung high school. So sabi ko parang masaya sya. Wala naman sine/cosine, tangent, atbp dun sa subject namin, debit/credit lang, t-account, mga ganyan. Sinulat ko naman din yun sa application ko sa second choice campus , first choice program.
Nung first year, binagsak ko yung Math 11 ko. Algebra yun eh. Sumasali pa nga ako sa peer review nun para lang makapasa ako. Kaso sadyang di ako magaling sa paghahanap nung mga nawawalang value ng x, y, z. Saka di ko magrasp kung anong sense nung mga fraction na fraction ang numerator at denominator. At pre-requisite lang naman sya ng higher Math subjects na kailangan ko itake para makashift ako. So ayun di na ko nag-shift. Okay na rin naman, napatunayan ko lang di na talaga ako magaling sa numero so wag ko na nga pahirapan yung sarili ko. I stayed sa Beh Sci. Nadiscuss naman namin yung mga personality tests na gusto ko dati at marami pang iba.
Since UP Manila ako, exposed kami sa PGH sa simula pa lang. Nung una, daanan lang namin sya papunta sa ibang colleges, pag papasok sa P.E. o kaya pupunta sa University Library. Yung college ko, yung CAS, kami lang yung kaisa-isang hindi "white college" sa Manila. Yung Allied Medical Professions, Nursing, Pharmacy, Public Health, Medicine lahat sila naka-uniform ng puti. Marami sa classmates ko pre-med nila yung undergrad. So eventually, they are going to wear white.
At that time, di ko alam yung gusto ko gawin sa buhay ko eh. During our orientation and halos lahat ng professors namin during my stay sa program sinabi na maganda yung course. You can go anywhere, pwedeng HR, pwedeng research, pre-med, pre-law, clinical, academe. Eh nakakaoverwhelm naman, daming choices parang buffet. At that time sabi ko sa sarili ko, basta itutuloy ko na nga lang. Saka na ko mag-iisip kung ano gagawin ko sa buhay ko.
Nasabi ko kanina na nakapagtrabaho ako sa hospital setting di ba? If you are thinking na tinuloy ko yung pangarap kong maging doktor, eh pakibatukan ang mga sarili nyo. Eh sinabi ko ngang hindi, di ba??? Well, yung trabaho ko sa ospital, internship yun.
During our third year, basta na lang kaming hinati sa tatlong grupo. Tapos inassign sa min yung magiging practicum/ojt namin. Clinical, HR at NGO/Research. Di ko alam kung bakit ako napalagay sa Clinical setting. Di naman siguro grades ang basehan, kasi yung mga sobrang tataas ng grades in preparation for UP College of Med, napunta naman sa iba-ibang setting. Siguro totoo yung tsismis na may roleta dun sa department.
Di madali ang makapasok na intern sa UP-PGH. UP students lang kadalasan ang tinatanggap. Inassign kami sa Department of Rehab Med. Di yun para sa mga adik ha. Rehabilitation Medicine, para sa mga na-stroke, naaksidente at mga children with special needs at persons with disability. Kasama namin dun yung mga Occupational Therapists, Speech Therapists, at Physical Therapists.
Bago kami magsimula ng training namin dun, may written exam at interview pa. For formality lang naman daw. Yung clinical supervisor kasi namin dun, alumna ng course namin. So pasalamat daw kami, dahil yung mga dating intern daw dun naka-assign sa infamous Ward 7. Anong andun? Dun yung department of mental health. Tuwing umaga, may nakatambay sa bintana ng ward nila tapos kumakanta ng Lupang Hinirang, tapos normal lang yung may nagsisisigaw at nagwawala sa loob. .
Very strict yung CS namin, si Ma'am Elaine. Tama lang naman, kasi natuto talaga kami. At hanga talaga ako sa galing nya. So isang summer kami dun, and we need to complete 100 hrs ata or more. Di ko na masyado matandaan. Particular si Ma'am Elaine sa attendance, at para walang dayaan, binigyan kaming lahat ng time card. Natuwa ako dun eh. Very old school. As in pagdating mo sa ospital, punta kang bundy clock, dun ang time in. Sa pagkakaalam naming lahat, dadalawa lang ang bundy clock sa buong PGH. Isa sa central block, isa sa OPD. So ikaw bahala kung san mo gusto, pareho naman silang malayo. Required din ang uniform na kulay puti. Dun mo mararamdaman na kapag nakaputi kang palakad-lakad sa PGH, iba ang dating mo sa mga tao. Madalas kang mapagtanungan kung san po ba yung pharmacy, yung ward ganito, yung MSS. Parang tingin nila sa yo isa kang naglalakad na GPS.
Yung first two weeks ko sa internship, nagrarounds ako sa inpatient. Well, medyo boring sya eh. Araw-araw mo silang pupuntahan, kukumustahin, magpapagawa ka ng activity at tapos susulat ka ng report. May tatlo akong pasyente nun. Si Ate Weng, na may spinal injury; si Manong Soldier na nakalimutan ko na yung pangalan, Korean war veteran, spinal injury din sya; at si Kuya Masungit (nalimutan ko na din ang pangalan) na merong rheumatic heart disease. Yun ang gagawin ko sa morning. Saglit lang naman ang rounds mga 15-20 mins lang per patient.
Ang gawain naman ng psychologist sa rounds, di naman gaya ng sa doktor or nurse. Di naman kami trained to get the patient's BP or temperature or magpainom ng gamot. What we do is we talk with the patient. Kung ano ang nararamdaman nya sa kasalukyan nyang sitwasyon, kung ano ang mga namimiss nya habang nasa ospital, mga plano nya sa paglabas nya. Madalas kwentuhan lang ang ginagawa sa rounds, pero minsan may games din akong naiisip. Pag Wednesday nun may group therapy ung buong ward. Lahat ng interns iisip ng gimik, ng laro. Kailangan susulat ka pa nyan ng proposal, kailangan may objectives.
Challenge si Kuya Masungit, dahil araw-araw na lang tuwing pupuntahan ko lagi syang galit. Parang ang reaksyon nya sa kin, andito ka na naman, dami dami mong tanong. Isa pang challenge dahil si Kuya sa ward 1 nakaconfine. Di ko maalala kung ano ang ward 1 pero pag papasok ako dun halos masuka ako sa amoy ng gamot. Smells like death in there, seryoso. Eh di naman ako nagsusuot ng mask dahil baka mas masungitan nya ko. Sabihin pa nya nandidiri ako eh hindi naman nakakahawa yung sakit nya. Ayun bago matapos ang internship ko, sumalangit nawa na si kuya. Pagdating ko na lang isang araw, sabi ng nurse, expired na daw yung patient sa bed 1. Expired, ibig sabihin namatay na.
Yun ang gawain namin sa morning. Sa hapon naman magsusulat kami ng reports na isasubmit the next day at ilalagay sa chart na patient. Minsan naman nag-aassist kami sa SpEd classes. May summer lessons dun yung SpEd kids. Generally, di ako mahilig sa bata. Ayoko ng maingay at ng magugulo at pasaway. Pero sa mga panahong ito, natuwa ako sa kanila. Nakakatuwa silang subaybayan araw-araw. Bago magsimula ang klase with their SpEd teachers, kakanta kami ng circle time. Importante sa mga kids with special needs ang routine. Dapat kung ano yung ginagawa nila ganun ng ganun araw araw. We are trying to start a habit, parang ganun.
Madaming cute na bata pala dun. Si RR, si Joana, si Anton, si Raine, si Jao, si Pat. Bawat intern may kanya kanyang favorite na bata. Iba-iba sila ng cases. Merong may hearing impairment, mental retardation, autism, ADHD. Dun ko nakita yung mga bagay na nababasa ko lang sa libro.
Nung nagrotation na, dun naman ako sa outpatient.Basically, pupunta ang patient sa ospital for assessment at therapy. Assessment, ibig sabihin gagawan namin sila ng psychological report. Ang isang psychological report ay naglalaman ng case history, behavioral observation, test results at recommendations. Yung patient history, kinukuha yan sa nanay/tatay/guardian sa pamamagitan ng interview. Tatanong mo lang yung buong pangalan, birthday, pangalan ng magulang, mga naging sakit, kung na-ospital, observation ng magulang na nagtulak sa kanilang dalhin yung bata sa ospital.
Habang ginagawa mo yung interview sa parent, aaliwin mo yung bata, hindi talent show level ha. Ang ginagawa ko bibigyan ko sya ng papel, lapis, crayons tapos pasusulatin ko halimbawa ng pangalan, tatanungin ko kung asan yung ganito at ganyang kulay. Kunwari, ganun ganun lang yun pero ang totoo, binibigay ko na sa bata ang una nyang test. VABS (Vineland Adaptive Behavior Scale) ang gamit dun. Yun ay pangmeasure ng kakayahan ng isang bata sa ADT (activities of daily living) halimbawa ang isang batang 7 years old ay kaya nang gumamit ng gunting. Kadalasan ginagamit to determine mental retardation tong test na to. Actually, isa syang checklist. Tapos may score kung gaano kadami ang nakacheck.
Usually, binibigyan din sila ng IQ test, depende sa edad nung bata. Yung isang test na ginagamit namin yung WISC-R (Weschler Intelligence Scale for Children- Revised Edition). Yung isa di ko na matandaan. Ayun K-ABC (Kaufman Assessment Battery for Children) pala. Ang problema nga lang sa mga iq test na yan, may parts na culture bias sila. Pero masaya silang iadminister. May isang part dun na pabubuuuin mo ng puzzle yung mga bata tapos may time limit. Merong mga magagaling na bata, mabilis lang nila masolve. Meron naman ang tagal-tagal nauubusan ka na ng pasensya. Meron namang paulit-ulit ka dapat ng instructions.
Yung behavioral observation, dito mo sasabihin yung mga nakita mo sa bata during your session. Halimbawa, lacks eye contact, has difficulty sitting still, does not follow instructions. Minsan mahaba ang behavioral observation. May mga masaya kasing pangyayari kagaya ng magtatatakbo yung bata sa testing room o kaya naman iiyak sya at magsisigaw o kaya babato nya sa yo yung mga lapis na inabot mo sa kanya. Parang tinetest ka din, test ng patience at creativity mo. One more thing I learned, positive reinforcement. Ang pagbibigay sa bata ng compliment o simpleng pagsasabi ng good job ay nakakabuti para matandaan nila yung mga behavior na dapat nilang ginagawa. It doesn't just apply to kids with special needs, maski sa mga regular na bata.
Sa bahaging recommendations, kailangan creative ka. Halimbawa yung bata ay may speech delay, ang marerecommend mo para sa kanya, turuan sya ng nanay nya ng songs o kaya kausapin nya habang gumagawa sya ng gawaing bahay. For example, magwawalis ng bahay, sasabihin ni mommy sa anak nya kung ano ang tawag sa walis, tapos ipapaulit nya or kung magluluto sasabihin nya yung mga ingredients. Mga simpleng bagay na pwede nilang gawin sa bahay. Malaki talaga yung role ng parents at mga kasama sa bahay sa isang child with special needs.
Madugo isulat ang mga reports.Nung una bumabalik sa min ng panay red marks. Dapat daw kasi yung gagamitin mong mga salita yung madali lang maintindihan. Wag yung masyadong technical, dahil syempre mga nanay kadalasan yung babasa at hindi naman lahat sila mataas ang napag-aralan. Pero ewan ko din kung bakit English pinapasulat sa min. Una, isusulat kamay ko muna ang draft ng reports tapos itatype ko pag-uwi. Eh habang tinatype ko, ineedit ko pa, kaya inuumaga na ko sa kakagawa ng reports. Ang trabaho ng intern ay hindi natatapos sa uwian. Dito ako nakaexperience na basta basta na lang ako nakakatulog sa byahe. Kadalasan 4-5 hrs lang ang tulog ko nun.
So ayun ang internship. Gusto ko sanang maging career na ang pagiging clinician pero nagbago isip ko. Enough na rin naman na nakapag-white uniform ako minsan, masubukan man lang. And that's it for today's post. Tignan natin kung ano isusulat ko bukas.
Sabi ko nga sa una kong post, my childhood dream is to become a doctor. At ayun nga, di ko nga keri yun kasi sobrang madiriin ako. So malamang di ko kayang kumatay-- sorry, mag-disect ng palaka, pusa at tao. I gave it up around high school ata. After giving up on that dream, kahit minsan di ko na naisip that I would ever have a chance to work at the hospital setting. Nung college, Behavioral Sciences yung course ko. Bakit? Eh kasi before we took the UPCAT, sabi sa 'min write ANY non-quota course, so just you could get into the university, since yung first year daw panay GE naman so di naman masasayang if you are going to shift. I wrote that kasi medyo interesado ako nun sa Psychology, yung mga personality tests. Mababaw lang actually yung pagkakaintindi ko sa course eh. Second choice ko Organizational Communication. Wala lang, may communication kasing nakalagay eh feeling ko nun, madaldal ako ng sobra at gusto kong mahasa yung mga communication skills ko.
Pero gusto ko talaga at that time Accounting. Labo no, sabi ko ayoko na Math, pero enjoy ko kasi yung Accounting subject namin nung high school. So sabi ko parang masaya sya. Wala naman sine/cosine, tangent, atbp dun sa subject namin, debit/credit lang, t-account, mga ganyan. Sinulat ko naman din yun sa application ko sa second choice campus , first choice program.
Nung first year, binagsak ko yung Math 11 ko. Algebra yun eh. Sumasali pa nga ako sa peer review nun para lang makapasa ako. Kaso sadyang di ako magaling sa paghahanap nung mga nawawalang value ng x, y, z. Saka di ko magrasp kung anong sense nung mga fraction na fraction ang numerator at denominator. At pre-requisite lang naman sya ng higher Math subjects na kailangan ko itake para makashift ako. So ayun di na ko nag-shift. Okay na rin naman, napatunayan ko lang di na talaga ako magaling sa numero so wag ko na nga pahirapan yung sarili ko. I stayed sa Beh Sci. Nadiscuss naman namin yung mga personality tests na gusto ko dati at marami pang iba.
Since UP Manila ako, exposed kami sa PGH sa simula pa lang. Nung una, daanan lang namin sya papunta sa ibang colleges, pag papasok sa P.E. o kaya pupunta sa University Library. Yung college ko, yung CAS, kami lang yung kaisa-isang hindi "white college" sa Manila. Yung Allied Medical Professions, Nursing, Pharmacy, Public Health, Medicine lahat sila naka-uniform ng puti. Marami sa classmates ko pre-med nila yung undergrad. So eventually, they are going to wear white.
At that time, di ko alam yung gusto ko gawin sa buhay ko eh. During our orientation and halos lahat ng professors namin during my stay sa program sinabi na maganda yung course. You can go anywhere, pwedeng HR, pwedeng research, pre-med, pre-law, clinical, academe. Eh nakakaoverwhelm naman, daming choices parang buffet. At that time sabi ko sa sarili ko, basta itutuloy ko na nga lang. Saka na ko mag-iisip kung ano gagawin ko sa buhay ko.
Nasabi ko kanina na nakapagtrabaho ako sa hospital setting di ba? If you are thinking na tinuloy ko yung pangarap kong maging doktor, eh pakibatukan ang mga sarili nyo. Eh sinabi ko ngang hindi, di ba??? Well, yung trabaho ko sa ospital, internship yun.
During our third year, basta na lang kaming hinati sa tatlong grupo. Tapos inassign sa min yung magiging practicum/ojt namin. Clinical, HR at NGO/Research. Di ko alam kung bakit ako napalagay sa Clinical setting. Di naman siguro grades ang basehan, kasi yung mga sobrang tataas ng grades in preparation for UP College of Med, napunta naman sa iba-ibang setting. Siguro totoo yung tsismis na may roleta dun sa department.
Di madali ang makapasok na intern sa UP-PGH. UP students lang kadalasan ang tinatanggap. Inassign kami sa Department of Rehab Med. Di yun para sa mga adik ha. Rehabilitation Medicine, para sa mga na-stroke, naaksidente at mga children with special needs at persons with disability. Kasama namin dun yung mga Occupational Therapists, Speech Therapists, at Physical Therapists.
Bago kami magsimula ng training namin dun, may written exam at interview pa. For formality lang naman daw. Yung clinical supervisor kasi namin dun, alumna ng course namin. So pasalamat daw kami, dahil yung mga dating intern daw dun naka-assign sa infamous Ward 7. Anong andun? Dun yung department of mental health. Tuwing umaga, may nakatambay sa bintana ng ward nila tapos kumakanta ng Lupang Hinirang, tapos normal lang yung may nagsisisigaw at nagwawala sa loob. .
Very strict yung CS namin, si Ma'am Elaine. Tama lang naman, kasi natuto talaga kami. At hanga talaga ako sa galing nya. So isang summer kami dun, and we need to complete 100 hrs ata or more. Di ko na masyado matandaan. Particular si Ma'am Elaine sa attendance, at para walang dayaan, binigyan kaming lahat ng time card. Natuwa ako dun eh. Very old school. As in pagdating mo sa ospital, punta kang bundy clock, dun ang time in. Sa pagkakaalam naming lahat, dadalawa lang ang bundy clock sa buong PGH. Isa sa central block, isa sa OPD. So ikaw bahala kung san mo gusto, pareho naman silang malayo. Required din ang uniform na kulay puti. Dun mo mararamdaman na kapag nakaputi kang palakad-lakad sa PGH, iba ang dating mo sa mga tao. Madalas kang mapagtanungan kung san po ba yung pharmacy, yung ward ganito, yung MSS. Parang tingin nila sa yo isa kang naglalakad na GPS.
Yung first two weeks ko sa internship, nagrarounds ako sa inpatient. Well, medyo boring sya eh. Araw-araw mo silang pupuntahan, kukumustahin, magpapagawa ka ng activity at tapos susulat ka ng report. May tatlo akong pasyente nun. Si Ate Weng, na may spinal injury; si Manong Soldier na nakalimutan ko na yung pangalan, Korean war veteran, spinal injury din sya; at si Kuya Masungit (nalimutan ko na din ang pangalan) na merong rheumatic heart disease. Yun ang gagawin ko sa morning. Saglit lang naman ang rounds mga 15-20 mins lang per patient.
Ang gawain naman ng psychologist sa rounds, di naman gaya ng sa doktor or nurse. Di naman kami trained to get the patient's BP or temperature or magpainom ng gamot. What we do is we talk with the patient. Kung ano ang nararamdaman nya sa kasalukyan nyang sitwasyon, kung ano ang mga namimiss nya habang nasa ospital, mga plano nya sa paglabas nya. Madalas kwentuhan lang ang ginagawa sa rounds, pero minsan may games din akong naiisip. Pag Wednesday nun may group therapy ung buong ward. Lahat ng interns iisip ng gimik, ng laro. Kailangan susulat ka pa nyan ng proposal, kailangan may objectives.
Challenge si Kuya Masungit, dahil araw-araw na lang tuwing pupuntahan ko lagi syang galit. Parang ang reaksyon nya sa kin, andito ka na naman, dami dami mong tanong. Isa pang challenge dahil si Kuya sa ward 1 nakaconfine. Di ko maalala kung ano ang ward 1 pero pag papasok ako dun halos masuka ako sa amoy ng gamot. Smells like death in there, seryoso. Eh di naman ako nagsusuot ng mask dahil baka mas masungitan nya ko. Sabihin pa nya nandidiri ako eh hindi naman nakakahawa yung sakit nya. Ayun bago matapos ang internship ko, sumalangit nawa na si kuya. Pagdating ko na lang isang araw, sabi ng nurse, expired na daw yung patient sa bed 1. Expired, ibig sabihin namatay na.
Yun ang gawain namin sa morning. Sa hapon naman magsusulat kami ng reports na isasubmit the next day at ilalagay sa chart na patient. Minsan naman nag-aassist kami sa SpEd classes. May summer lessons dun yung SpEd kids. Generally, di ako mahilig sa bata. Ayoko ng maingay at ng magugulo at pasaway. Pero sa mga panahong ito, natuwa ako sa kanila. Nakakatuwa silang subaybayan araw-araw. Bago magsimula ang klase with their SpEd teachers, kakanta kami ng circle time. Importante sa mga kids with special needs ang routine. Dapat kung ano yung ginagawa nila ganun ng ganun araw araw. We are trying to start a habit, parang ganun.
Madaming cute na bata pala dun. Si RR, si Joana, si Anton, si Raine, si Jao, si Pat. Bawat intern may kanya kanyang favorite na bata. Iba-iba sila ng cases. Merong may hearing impairment, mental retardation, autism, ADHD. Dun ko nakita yung mga bagay na nababasa ko lang sa libro.
Nung nagrotation na, dun naman ako sa outpatient.Basically, pupunta ang patient sa ospital for assessment at therapy. Assessment, ibig sabihin gagawan namin sila ng psychological report. Ang isang psychological report ay naglalaman ng case history, behavioral observation, test results at recommendations. Yung patient history, kinukuha yan sa nanay/tatay/guardian sa pamamagitan ng interview. Tatanong mo lang yung buong pangalan, birthday, pangalan ng magulang, mga naging sakit, kung na-ospital, observation ng magulang na nagtulak sa kanilang dalhin yung bata sa ospital.
Habang ginagawa mo yung interview sa parent, aaliwin mo yung bata, hindi talent show level ha. Ang ginagawa ko bibigyan ko sya ng papel, lapis, crayons tapos pasusulatin ko halimbawa ng pangalan, tatanungin ko kung asan yung ganito at ganyang kulay. Kunwari, ganun ganun lang yun pero ang totoo, binibigay ko na sa bata ang una nyang test. VABS (Vineland Adaptive Behavior Scale) ang gamit dun. Yun ay pangmeasure ng kakayahan ng isang bata sa ADT (activities of daily living) halimbawa ang isang batang 7 years old ay kaya nang gumamit ng gunting. Kadalasan ginagamit to determine mental retardation tong test na to. Actually, isa syang checklist. Tapos may score kung gaano kadami ang nakacheck.
Usually, binibigyan din sila ng IQ test, depende sa edad nung bata. Yung isang test na ginagamit namin yung WISC-R (Weschler Intelligence Scale for Children- Revised Edition). Yung isa di ko na matandaan. Ayun K-ABC (Kaufman Assessment Battery for Children) pala. Ang problema nga lang sa mga iq test na yan, may parts na culture bias sila. Pero masaya silang iadminister. May isang part dun na pabubuuuin mo ng puzzle yung mga bata tapos may time limit. Merong mga magagaling na bata, mabilis lang nila masolve. Meron naman ang tagal-tagal nauubusan ka na ng pasensya. Meron namang paulit-ulit ka dapat ng instructions.
Yung behavioral observation, dito mo sasabihin yung mga nakita mo sa bata during your session. Halimbawa, lacks eye contact, has difficulty sitting still, does not follow instructions. Minsan mahaba ang behavioral observation. May mga masaya kasing pangyayari kagaya ng magtatatakbo yung bata sa testing room o kaya naman iiyak sya at magsisigaw o kaya babato nya sa yo yung mga lapis na inabot mo sa kanya. Parang tinetest ka din, test ng patience at creativity mo. One more thing I learned, positive reinforcement. Ang pagbibigay sa bata ng compliment o simpleng pagsasabi ng good job ay nakakabuti para matandaan nila yung mga behavior na dapat nilang ginagawa. It doesn't just apply to kids with special needs, maski sa mga regular na bata.
Sa bahaging recommendations, kailangan creative ka. Halimbawa yung bata ay may speech delay, ang marerecommend mo para sa kanya, turuan sya ng nanay nya ng songs o kaya kausapin nya habang gumagawa sya ng gawaing bahay. For example, magwawalis ng bahay, sasabihin ni mommy sa anak nya kung ano ang tawag sa walis, tapos ipapaulit nya or kung magluluto sasabihin nya yung mga ingredients. Mga simpleng bagay na pwede nilang gawin sa bahay. Malaki talaga yung role ng parents at mga kasama sa bahay sa isang child with special needs.
Madugo isulat ang mga reports.Nung una bumabalik sa min ng panay red marks. Dapat daw kasi yung gagamitin mong mga salita yung madali lang maintindihan. Wag yung masyadong technical, dahil syempre mga nanay kadalasan yung babasa at hindi naman lahat sila mataas ang napag-aralan. Pero ewan ko din kung bakit English pinapasulat sa min. Una, isusulat kamay ko muna ang draft ng reports tapos itatype ko pag-uwi. Eh habang tinatype ko, ineedit ko pa, kaya inuumaga na ko sa kakagawa ng reports. Ang trabaho ng intern ay hindi natatapos sa uwian. Dito ako nakaexperience na basta basta na lang ako nakakatulog sa byahe. Kadalasan 4-5 hrs lang ang tulog ko nun.
So ayun ang internship. Gusto ko sanang maging career na ang pagiging clinician pero nagbago isip ko. Enough na rin naman na nakapag-white uniform ako minsan, masubukan man lang. And that's it for today's post. Tignan natin kung ano isusulat ko bukas.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
30-day challenge day 4
First Love. Eh kung binasa nyo ang day 1, malamang alam mong NBSB ako. Pero love naman ang pinag-uusapan di naman relationship.
I thought I had my first love at 15. Pero it turned out that was just a teenage thing. Ang drama drama ko pa nun. Unrequited love chever chever. Close kasi kami nun eh, groupmates sa mga project tapos commander ko pa sya sa CAT. Tapos natuwa akong makagraduate kasi di ko na kaya makita sya. Parang I can now forget about you blah blah. I even wrote a novelette about it, which I lost the copy. Matagal na din akong di nagpapakita sa taong un, mga 2 years. Eh kasi pinagtataguan ko. Baliktad na mundo, sya na ang humahabol (haba ng hair ko. eh sya naman may sabi nun) The thing is, the cute high school boys don't always grow up to be the most desirable men.
Pero yung first love ko talaga, 20 years old ako. Yung sinasabi nilang spark, in hindsight, I had that when I met him. Ang corny pero totoo. There's a moment in your life when you meet someone and you know that, that someone would make a difference. Una, wala kaming ginawa kundi mag-asaran, eh KSP ata talaga sya nun eh. Barahan lang, sagutan sa email (wala ym sa citibank). We grew close hanggang sa kahit wala na kami sa office, usapan pa rin sa text, sa personal ym. We started talking about personal problems, family, ganyan. Tapos lumalabas labas kami ng kami lang dalawa. Kung ikukwento ko lahat, baka day 30 na di pa tapos.
We were never actually together. Eh kasi para sa kin di sya nanligaw kasi wala naman syang sinabi that he likes me or something. He's not touchy either. Paborito nya lang kurutin yung ilong ko. I don't remember most details kung paano natapos ang lahat, pero basta I just assumed he changed his mind about me. So ayun, I stopped talking to him. Recently lang naman akong pumapayag sumama sya sa mga lakad with our common friends. Pero kahit ganun ramdam ko may friction, eh kasi di ako kinakausap. Pag kakausapin ko naman parang di ako matignan.
Minsan ko syang nasabihang, "Sorry, I'm not my best self around you." Di ba ang drama drama ko lang eh kasi naman magyayaya lumabas sasama nya pa yung babaeng ka-close nya na natsismis na niligawan nya pero may boyfriend at present. Friend ko naman si girl, pero feeling ko, ano ako dito chaperone? Di ko nga sila kinausap hanggang uwian. Nagalit sa kin si guy, parang tanga daw ako. Kaya ayun sinabi ko sa kanya ang linyang yun. Naguilty naman ako sa kagagahan ko, kasi ang rude nga naman ng dating ko. Ginusto ko bumawi, kaso ayaw. Di wag kaya pinalampas ko na lang.
Well, di ko naman sya madalas maalala. Masyado akong madaming edit para isipin sya (masipag kunwari) pero pag naaalala ko sya, may dramahan talagang nagaganap. How could you forget a guy na halos kidnapin ka to watch fireworks kasi naisipan nya lang? o yung binigyan ka ng stuffed toy na aso having decided against a real one dahil sabi mo pag namatay, iiyak ka lang? o yung anim na madaling araw mong nakasama sa simbang gabi?
So ayun, kelan kaya dadating yung second love?
I thought I had my first love at 15. Pero it turned out that was just a teenage thing. Ang drama drama ko pa nun. Unrequited love chever chever. Close kasi kami nun eh, groupmates sa mga project tapos commander ko pa sya sa CAT. Tapos natuwa akong makagraduate kasi di ko na kaya makita sya. Parang I can now forget about you blah blah. I even wrote a novelette about it, which I lost the copy. Matagal na din akong di nagpapakita sa taong un, mga 2 years. Eh kasi pinagtataguan ko. Baliktad na mundo, sya na ang humahabol (haba ng hair ko. eh sya naman may sabi nun) The thing is, the cute high school boys don't always grow up to be the most desirable men.
Pero yung first love ko talaga, 20 years old ako. Yung sinasabi nilang spark, in hindsight, I had that when I met him. Ang corny pero totoo. There's a moment in your life when you meet someone and you know that, that someone would make a difference. Una, wala kaming ginawa kundi mag-asaran, eh KSP ata talaga sya nun eh. Barahan lang, sagutan sa email (wala ym sa citibank). We grew close hanggang sa kahit wala na kami sa office, usapan pa rin sa text, sa personal ym. We started talking about personal problems, family, ganyan. Tapos lumalabas labas kami ng kami lang dalawa. Kung ikukwento ko lahat, baka day 30 na di pa tapos.
We were never actually together. Eh kasi para sa kin di sya nanligaw kasi wala naman syang sinabi that he likes me or something. He's not touchy either. Paborito nya lang kurutin yung ilong ko. I don't remember most details kung paano natapos ang lahat, pero basta I just assumed he changed his mind about me. So ayun, I stopped talking to him. Recently lang naman akong pumapayag sumama sya sa mga lakad with our common friends. Pero kahit ganun ramdam ko may friction, eh kasi di ako kinakausap. Pag kakausapin ko naman parang di ako matignan.
Minsan ko syang nasabihang, "Sorry, I'm not my best self around you." Di ba ang drama drama ko lang eh kasi naman magyayaya lumabas sasama nya pa yung babaeng ka-close nya na natsismis na niligawan nya pero may boyfriend at present. Friend ko naman si girl, pero feeling ko, ano ako dito chaperone? Di ko nga sila kinausap hanggang uwian. Nagalit sa kin si guy, parang tanga daw ako. Kaya ayun sinabi ko sa kanya ang linyang yun. Naguilty naman ako sa kagagahan ko, kasi ang rude nga naman ng dating ko. Ginusto ko bumawi, kaso ayaw. Di wag kaya pinalampas ko na lang.
Well, di ko naman sya madalas maalala. Masyado akong madaming edit para isipin sya (masipag kunwari) pero pag naaalala ko sya, may dramahan talagang nagaganap. How could you forget a guy na halos kidnapin ka to watch fireworks kasi naisipan nya lang? o yung binigyan ka ng stuffed toy na aso having decided against a real one dahil sabi mo pag namatay, iiyak ka lang? o yung anim na madaling araw mong nakasama sa simbang gabi?
So ayun, kelan kaya dadating yung second love?
30-day challenge day 3
I skipped 2 days. Hehehehe. I'm not really good at things that you're supposed to do everyday. Di ko ngang magawang magconditioner araw araw. Tagalugin na nga to. Dumudugo na ilong ko eh. Hahaha (saka na nga lang makwento kung bakit English ako magsulat)
So nicknames daw.
RJ talaga ako sa bahay, sa mga pinsan, sa mga kababata, mga kamag-anak. Eh kasi initials yun ng pangalan ko. Rowan Joselle. Kaso when our bunso was younger,di nya mapronounce, wala syang letter R he could only say Adeyl. So yung mga unggoy kong kapatid ginagaya or ginagawan ng variation plus the fact na mahilig sila magbaby talk sa bahay.
During elementary, they call me Joselle, second name which I hate. Eh kasi pag sinabi ng teacher Row 1, ako lang mag-isa nagrerecite. Kesa naman everytime tatanong namin kung kaming lahat ba o ako lang, so ayun Joselle na lang daw. Eh di sige.
During high school it's Rowan. Yung classmates ko tamad, Row lang or Rows. Until college, I still introduce myself as such. One friend call me Wan. Sya lang naman. Sya ang pinakaclose ko for 4 yrs.
Sa first job ko, nauso si Marimar. One officemate, si Paoster, started calling me that eh kasi daw kulot ako. Lahat na gumaya. Yung isa naman tawag sa kin Curly Tops. One guy tawag sa kin for a while Joyce, kamukha ko daw si Joyce Jimenez (siya may sabi nyan). Pero mas madami pa rin silang tawag sa kin Rowan, Roe, Rowie.
Sa CIQ, still pretty much Rowan. Pero may isang mabait kung anu-ano lang maisipang itawag. Who/what the hell is Gundina?
So nicknames daw.
RJ talaga ako sa bahay, sa mga pinsan, sa mga kababata, mga kamag-anak. Eh kasi initials yun ng pangalan ko. Rowan Joselle. Kaso when our bunso was younger,di nya mapronounce, wala syang letter R he could only say Adeyl. So yung mga unggoy kong kapatid ginagaya or ginagawan ng variation plus the fact na mahilig sila magbaby talk sa bahay.
During elementary, they call me Joselle, second name which I hate. Eh kasi pag sinabi ng teacher Row 1, ako lang mag-isa nagrerecite. Kesa naman everytime tatanong namin kung kaming lahat ba o ako lang, so ayun Joselle na lang daw. Eh di sige.
During high school it's Rowan. Yung classmates ko tamad, Row lang or Rows. Until college, I still introduce myself as such. One friend call me Wan. Sya lang naman. Sya ang pinakaclose ko for 4 yrs.
Sa first job ko, nauso si Marimar. One officemate, si Paoster, started calling me that eh kasi daw kulot ako. Lahat na gumaya. Yung isa naman tawag sa kin Curly Tops. One guy tawag sa kin for a while Joyce, kamukha ko daw si Joyce Jimenez (siya may sabi nyan). Pero mas madami pa rin silang tawag sa kin Rowan, Roe, Rowie.
Sa CIQ, still pretty much Rowan. Pero may isang mabait kung anu-ano lang maisipang itawag. Who/what the hell is Gundina?
Friday, September 2, 2011
Thursday, September 1, 2011
30- day challenge day 1
so how do we start this. there is only one word to describe my attempt at keeping a blog- failure. i have created about 4 or 5 blogs to date. at this point, all of them are either forgotten, never written in or ignored. yet again, here's another attempt. thanks to reginald uy (follow @reduy on Twitter). one suggested topic for each day of the month, let'see if we can get to day 30.
day 1 introduce yourself
Introduce yourself. This sentence, as well as its derivative tell me something about yourself, poses rather a lot of problems for me especially when asked during a job interview because i don't know where to start and i cannot contain how wonderful (chos) i am in a few sentences
born on mar 27, 1987 eldest of four. my parents consider me stubborn and very temperamental. i am quite talkative when among friends but i am actually an introvert.
not let's get to interesting facts about me
1. i love countdowns,checklists, anniversaries (of anything like next week it's 2 years of wearing braces) and odd numbers. on the other hand, i hate long lines, split ends and algebra...calculus, trigonometry, fractions, decimals. okay, i don't like math in general
2. i haven't had softdrinks and chips (chichirya) for a long time (7 yrs). at McDonald's, i only eat sundaes (everything else makes me gag). and i have never tasted anything alcoholic (except green cross, haha). i don't like raisins. i'm crazy for sweets but caffeine gives me headaches (sorry, chocolates)
3. it is very seldom that i listen to music but i enjoy videoke sessions. i used to only like classics (read:mozart bach and others, so geek). it follows that i don't know how to play any musical instruments
4. i read a lot. i collect stephen king books and like to scare myself after reading them. the woman who had two navels by nick joaquin still puzzles me, maybe i need to read it again. i have no intention of reading the harry potter or twilight books.
5. my favorite movies include animated ones like finding nemo and kungfu panda. when i like a particular movie, i watch it more than once.
6. i love taking pictures, mostly of myself. so much for vanity
7. i love pets. over the years, i've had several cats, dogs, hamsters.
8. i keep a spiral notebook where i write ideas and lines that i could probably evolve into a short story for later. i also write poetry every once in a while. i also love reading them. pablo neruda's sonnet XXvii is one of my all-time favorites.
9. i started walking alone at 9-plus months. average babies walk at one year (yabang). one of my first memories is the 1990 earthquake and the sound of my dad's leather shoes on gravel.
10.my childhood dream is to become a doctor. i get toy stethoscopes for christmas instead of barbies.i used to sew clothes for my dolls but i forgot if i ever wanted to be a fashion designer.
11. i never had a boyfriend (for applications please email resumes to...haha)
12. i bake on my spare time. i make mean brownies. but i have never made a decent cheesecake so i need to practice that more.
13. i have never been hospitalized but have had 3 operations due to my third molars, the 3rd one under general anesthesia and performed by a maxillofacial surgeon in PGH outpatient department.
14. i can't swim or drive. my dad once said, "yung bike mo pagsakay mo napatakbo mo agad, di mo na inaral. bakit di ka matutong magmaneho," or something like that
15. last interesting fact that i want to share: this is probably the first and last post that i will ever write for the next 30 days.
day 1 introduce yourself
Introduce yourself. This sentence, as well as its derivative tell me something about yourself, poses rather a lot of problems for me especially when asked during a job interview because i don't know where to start and i cannot contain how wonderful (chos) i am in a few sentences
born on mar 27, 1987 eldest of four. my parents consider me stubborn and very temperamental. i am quite talkative when among friends but i am actually an introvert.
not let's get to interesting facts about me
1. i love countdowns,checklists, anniversaries (of anything like next week it's 2 years of wearing braces) and odd numbers. on the other hand, i hate long lines, split ends and algebra...calculus, trigonometry, fractions, decimals. okay, i don't like math in general
2. i haven't had softdrinks and chips (chichirya) for a long time (7 yrs). at McDonald's, i only eat sundaes (everything else makes me gag). and i have never tasted anything alcoholic (except green cross, haha). i don't like raisins. i'm crazy for sweets but caffeine gives me headaches (sorry, chocolates)
3. it is very seldom that i listen to music but i enjoy videoke sessions. i used to only like classics (read:mozart bach and others, so geek). it follows that i don't know how to play any musical instruments
4. i read a lot. i collect stephen king books and like to scare myself after reading them. the woman who had two navels by nick joaquin still puzzles me, maybe i need to read it again. i have no intention of reading the harry potter or twilight books.
5. my favorite movies include animated ones like finding nemo and kungfu panda. when i like a particular movie, i watch it more than once.
6. i love taking pictures, mostly of myself. so much for vanity
7. i love pets. over the years, i've had several cats, dogs, hamsters.
8. i keep a spiral notebook where i write ideas and lines that i could probably evolve into a short story for later. i also write poetry every once in a while. i also love reading them. pablo neruda's sonnet XXvii is one of my all-time favorites.
9. i started walking alone at 9-plus months. average babies walk at one year (yabang). one of my first memories is the 1990 earthquake and the sound of my dad's leather shoes on gravel.
10.my childhood dream is to become a doctor. i get toy stethoscopes for christmas instead of barbies.i used to sew clothes for my dolls but i forgot if i ever wanted to be a fashion designer.
11. i never had a boyfriend (for applications please email resumes to...haha)
12. i bake on my spare time. i make mean brownies. but i have never made a decent cheesecake so i need to practice that more.
13. i have never been hospitalized but have had 3 operations due to my third molars, the 3rd one under general anesthesia and performed by a maxillofacial surgeon in PGH outpatient department.
14. i can't swim or drive. my dad once said, "yung bike mo pagsakay mo napatakbo mo agad, di mo na inaral. bakit di ka matutong magmaneho," or something like that
15. last interesting fact that i want to share: this is probably the first and last post that i will ever write for the next 30 days.
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